April 24th - Sunday after Easter

Faith and Doubt

Doubting Thomas was the subject of last Sunday’s sermon, and I always forget how much that story resonates with me in the flurry of Easter preparations. Thomas needed proof that Jesus was alive, which does not ring true with the whole concept of faith, and this questioning is something I struggle with. Why should the overarching moral direction and guidance in my life need proof that it is correct and that the reasons for it exist?

My background and interests since I was young were in science, math, and things that can be proved, seen, held… there was always the “right” answer or knowing (and accepting) the answer does not exist. Maladaptive or not, I clung to the need for truth, and I remained largely skeptical of what was told to me until I had enough data to support it. Although, I remain precariously gullible when it comes to my dad… stories for another time, but know that it always makes me smile.

Something I remind myself when I am questioning my faith is that God made us all in his image and that we all have a purpose. I was made to be curious because God wanted me to be, and/or maybe because God is also curious. Why else would be give humans choice? I think He wanted to observe what we would do with it. Some of us with that divine curiosity work to create order from the world around us, some of us explore the beautiful chaos of the forces of nature, some of us work to create a numerical language that describes everything we come in contact with, and all of us were made to be curious. God grew and designed our species from the rest of creation with this incredible neural function so we could do all these amazing things.

My prayer for you (and me) as we enter this weekend is to boldly question, unafraid of being judged, just like Thomas with Jesus. Jesus accepted his questions and showed him what he needed. I think we have little signs that we need as well, you just have to keep your heart and mind open.

-          Hannah